Our trip to Disney World, probably around 1978? It's completely bananas that this is the only picture of Susan and I for the week we spent there. By today's standards, it's basically criminal. We do, however, have approximately 35 pictures of the hula girls at the Polynesian dinner show. I'll give you three guesses as to who was the photographer in the family. (HINT: He was the only male.)
Though we don't have pictures, I remember how excited we were for our first plane ride. There was no Epcot or MGM, just Magic Kingdom. We weren't (and aren't) huge Disney fans, but I distinctly remember being amazed at how perfect Main Street was as we walked into the park.
There were two highlights from our trip that have no photos. First, Susan and I each used our spending money to buy giant sunglasses (like the joke kind that are five times the size of your head) and sombreros, which we then WORE ON THE AIRPLANE TO FLY HOME. Do that today and you'll probably land yourself on the terrorist watchlist. But back in the days of innocence, the only thing it got you was seats in your own row because your parents had orphaned you at 30,000 feet.
The second gem from that trip is burned into my memory because I heard my dad talk about it no less than 1700 times ...with the story becoming more outrageous as the years went by. We were in line for Pirates of the Caribbean, waiting for a boat to pull up and for the cheerful Disney cast member to assign us a row. I'm not sure if my mom was overheated and dehydrated or whether she had a secret thing for pirates, but she got a bit excited when what she thought was our boat pulled up to the railing.
As my dad would tell it, it was a boat FILLED with people who were 100 years or older, all invalids. Completely immobile. These poor innocent seniors were then ACCOSTED by my mother, who attempted to JUMP INTO THE BOAT WITH THEM before they had a chance to exit. He reenacted old ladies shaking their canes, gripping their husbands, and tucked his lips around his teeth to show that they were so old they didn't even have dentures anymore. He would also scream and tuck his knees up to his chest, as if they regressed and entered the fetal position at the sight of my mother trying to capsize their Disney Dinghy. NOT SURPRISINGLY, he was able to grab my mother and save those poor older people from having to try to find the life vests under their seat. In the words of Bonnie Tyler, they were holdin' out for a hero and DON WHITE WAS IT.
How I remember the story is irrelevant. Mostly because my version is boring and the truth. In the beginning, my mom would protest and tell him he was exaggerating. But what became funnier over the years was not the story, but my mom, my sister and I laughing at HIM, telling this completely embellished, over-the-top, and basically fictional story. I guess that's really what matters, that he got laughs, the people he told the story got laughs, and we got laughs...even if it was all for different reasons.
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